Sasha
by Erika Rex
Summary: "Niet. Sasha deserves to be remembered. I was coward for keeping story so long." Sasha's backstory.


This story has been in my head for a couple of months. It was about time I sat down to write it.

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Scout should have known better.

Scout should have known better than to mention Heavy's minigun in one of his distasteful jokes. It didn't matter that the big guy seemed to be drowsing off on the poker table while the Bostonian played pool with Demoman and Soldier on the other opposite side of the room. I didn't matter that music was muffling his voice and not even his game adversaries were paying him attention.

Scout should have known that if he insulted Sasha in some way, Heavy was going to hear him. And he did.

The giant human bear suddenly came out of his hibernation, startling everyone.

"What did you say, tiny man?!" Heavy roared standing up and slapped his hand against the table, making any object that was resting on the unfortunate surface jump. Spy's and Engineer's tidy pile of chips crumbled into a plastic mess, the drinking-glasses floated in the air from a fraction of a second and some miraculously managed to land without spilling its content and everyone on the poker table moved their chairs away from him, fearing that Heavy will knocked the table over like in previous occasions. In the heat of the moment, even Engineer forgot that he had screwed the furniture against the floor so it wouldn't happen again.

With everyone still in shock, Scout raised his hands and tried to articulate something coherent to defend himself but the Russian interrupted him before a single complete word left his lips.

"Sasha was stronger and braver than you will ever be, big mouth baby!" He shouted at the young Bostonian with a passion and pain, not fury, that the team had never seen before. Shortly after, Heavy realized how he had slipped his tongue.

He had said "was".

 _"мудак!"_

To be honest, most of his teammates would have attribute that conjugational mistake to the combination of the Russian's tipsiness, tiredness and lack of English fluency if it hadn't been for his reaction. The big guy eyed each one of them as self-conscious as he had spilled a big secret he swore to protect and slowly sat down on his chair. Immediately after, he grabbed his vodka bottle and drank directly from it, rather than methodically poured himself gigantic size shots like he had been doing until that moment.

"So, Sasha was a woman." Spy dared to point out. That Frenchman would have voluntarily walked into hell in exchange of all the secrets he hadn't had time to find out yet.

At hearing that affirmation, Heavy set the vodka bottle aside and threw a deadly glance at the secret agent. The Spy hold his gaze unaffected by the Russian's piercing eyes and even the ghost of a smirk managed to make his way to the masked man's lips. Heavy's reaction proved he was right.

During the seconds that the duel lasted, some of the other members in the room kept turning his head between the two men like if they were in a tennis match, expecting Heavy to snap at him at any second. Instead, the mountain of a man gave in with a tired sigh and admitted:

"Da. We met in gulag."

Everybody's eyes slightly went wide and Spy's smile disappeared from his face in an instant.

All of them knew that Heavy had spent some months in one of those prisoner camps, himself had told them a couple of experiences of his life there but they had always been brief and unspecific. Only Medic had been awarded with a longer version of the story and even then, the Russian had focused more on the details of the tortures he had performed on the former guards than how his family and him had suffered in that hellish place.

After a second of tense metaphorical silence, Heavy lowered his gaze, clearly in deep thought, probably reliving those painful memories. With the giant seemingly calmed down, Demo turned off the music and the teammates from the pool table approached the big man cautiously. A mental conflict was taking place in Heavy's mind and all of them were eagerly awaiting the result of that battle.

With the usual confidence that had forged their friendship, Medic placed a hand on Heavy's massive shoulder and the Russian turned his head at the doctor to meet an empathetic smile. It didn't suit Medic's face but the big guy appreciated the supportive gesture anyway.

"You ain't have to tell us -" Engineer tried to reassure him but Heavy interrupted him before he could finish his sentence.

"Niet. Sasha deserves to be remembered. I was coward for keeping story so long."

Following next, he took a long swig from his bottle and began talking.

"We met in gulag but sisters and mother met her first. They were in separate hut for women and children so I was not there the night two guards came. Mother said they looked around and pointed at Zhanna. They wanted her that night. She was fourteen."

Heavy made a pause and everybody understood what they specifically wanted her for. He didn't need to say it out loud. Even Soldier caught the meaning.

"Zhanna screamed, fought and cried. Mother screamed, fought and cried. Bronislava screamed, tried to fight, flew against wall because of kick and cried. Yana just cried. Guards beat them all. Mother said they were going to take Zhanna outside when woman stopped them. Clever woman took them by surprise. She beat them so hard that guards' screams alerted other guards. She fought them too. So many guards came that when she could not fight anymore, last guard didn't know why first guard had come to hut, so they raped her instead."

Heavy's last words sank on everyone's mind. In those moments, Scout was deeply regretting what he had previously said about Sasha. The Russian had told the truth when he had called the Bostonian big mouth baby. He was right. Heavy let another second of silence pass and continued with his tale.

"It took her two weeks to walk again. Most men would have died. She didn't. She was strong woman. When mother told me she was working again in factory, I went to find her. It was first time I saw her with own eyes. She was tall, almost as tall as me, and had blue eyes of cold fury. Her hair was dirty. I never learnt true color of her hair. I approached her and thanked her for protecting my family. She spat on me." That comment raised some eyebrows around. "I punched her. "That one gained even higher eyebrows." She left. I came next day to apologize. She left like day before. I came to apologize next day and day after next day and more days. First week, she left every time she saw me. Second week, she stayed but didn't speak. At third week, I finally learnt sound of her voice. She insulted me." Heavy laughed heartily. "She was stubborn woman, but I was more stubborn." Heavy smiled nostalgically.

"We started talking. First, they were observations about work, people, prison and guards. Simple comments. After two weeks, they weren't simple comments anymore. We shared. We shared very much. She told me she was daughter of rebel weapon engineer. They never discovered she was rebel and engineer too. Really good engineer. She designed Sasha in her head. She showed me drawing in hidden spot made with blood and mud. I helped her finish design. We created together perfect weapon. That was day I realized I had fell in love with her." He let out a short laugh. "I never expected to meet a woman so clever, strong and stubborn in place like that. "Heavy's lips quirked up in a fondly way and then his voice adopted a sinister tone. "That day I decided too it was time to get out. Get everyone out."

"After two months in gulag I had lost a lot of weight. I knew that if we waited more, I might lost will of fighting too. I was scared that I might not be able to protect family anymore. So after week of preparation, we rebelled. Whole gulag rebelled. Beating first guards was difficult but when we got to the weapon's room..." Heavy's sinister tone evolved into a insane smile.

"They paid. I made them paid. We made them paid together, Sasha and I and everybody. Zhanna pointed at the guards who had tried to rape her, we made them paid too. They screamed, fought and cried. They begged and died. They bleed soooo muuuch bloooood." Heavy let out a terrifying laugh and suddenly got serious again. "She was so beautiful covered in the blood of those men..." The Russian trailed off and the rest of the team feared that he had got lost in those morbid memories but after a moment of contemplation, Heavy got back on track. "Gulag started burning. Chaos became too big and I lost Sasha in the chaos. One second she was behind me; the other, she was not. Too many people. Fire began growing. It became too dangerous, breathing was difficult too so I had to make choice. Stay and find Sasha or leave and save family. I decided to leave." The big guy made another pause and caressed the bottle.

"Leaving should have not been that painful but it was right choice. Every day I tell myself it was right choice. Family is alive and save. Right choice." He stopped for a long second and had a generous swig of his vodka.

"I never saw Sasha again. I do not know if she died or escape. She survived so much. She could have not die but I will never know. Gulag gave me best woman I ever met and took her the day I left." His eyes were watered but Heavy restrained himself from crying, instead, he smiled again. It was a sad smile though. "I never told her how I felt. I never kissed her. I should have. I hope she knew. She was very clever woman, she had to know. But again, I will never know. It was choice I made. Family before love."

The Russian made a deep sigh and cleaned his eyes with his forearm.

"When I came to work for RED, I asked for best weapon. I did not like first model of minigun so I gave Sasha's design instead. It was not as good as original, I did not remember all details but it was similar enough. I liked new minigun. It was beautiful and powerful as Sasha. That is why I gave it her name. She designed it after all. She designed best killing machine ever in worst place on earth." The big guy smiled broadly and for a second, it seemed that he was going to start crying again.

"I can see her strength every time I look at minigun. I can see our memories. It is not her but it has part of her. That is only thing I got left of woman I loved." His smile trembled but the giant Russian didn't spill a tear.

"Now, you know Sasha's story." He sentenced solemnly at last.

Absolute silence reigned on the room. What could any of them add after that tragic and painful narration? Any comment they might offer would seem pitiful compared with what Heavy had just shared with them. The men looked at each other while Heavy swallowed a quarter of the vodka bottle without a pause to breath.

It was then, when Scout was going to articulate a miserable "sorry", that Demoman raised his beer and exclaimed:

"For Sasha!"

The rest of the members followed his cheer and picked up their drinks in respect of that mighty woman. Each one of them nodded at Russian, carrying for now on a bit of the weight of that grievous story.

"For Sasha!" The team shouted out at unison and they drank in her honor.

Heavy emptied the vodka bottle and kept his broad fragile smile for the rest of the night.

After that day, Heavy's minigun never looked like the same again to them. The team learnt to see a bit of Sasha in her, they learnt to see a bit of that wondrous woman in that beast of a weapon.

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мудак = moron, birdbrain

Any comments and constructive criticism are welcome.

As a writer I love reading your opinions about the story! ^^ I hope you enjoyed it.


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